Rockaway Park NY, March 17, 2012 in the 41st year of the Society All Hail the Lord-Baron in Fullosia!
Dr James Davies:|
MENTORIAL EPISCOLAE: WHISKEY vs Whisky
Top of the Society to you Lord Dean. As you know, St. Patrick`s Day 2012 marks the 41st year of the Society with only nine years left on the Big Board to completion of the Society`s mission. I would hope you enjoy the spirit or spirits of the day. My topic this St. Patrick`s Day is beer and a comparison of whisky with whiskey, an appropriate topic for a seaman.
Times have changed greatly over the last 41 years since the birth of the Society in 1971. Attitudes likewise have changed so much so that my topic, once a mere question of sociability is now controversial. Where once among my shipmates, I was regarded as a moderate drinker, I am now scorned as a lush. But I drink no more now than then. Similarly, where once I was regarded as a flaming liberal, I am now regarded, except by the Society, as a hidebound conservative. In the Society, I am still treated as its lowest form of disdain, a white liberal. I do chuckle however whenever I think of your father The Great Dean mimicking an uninspiring Wendel Wilkie speech, "I am a liberal, Ain`t I great!" The Great Dean`s rendition drew more of an audience than Mr Wilkie ever did. Perhaps Mr Wilkie could have livened up his orations by taste testing beforehand Whiskey against Whisky as the mentor has recently done in the pursuit of philosophical satisfaction, notwithstanding a degree of social opprobrium attached to such activities.
In all such matters against all such vile accusations, I have often quoted a decision of a Federal Court that a seaman cannot be separated from his hearty ale. How did such right thinking practical jurists simply fade away? I have repeatedly called upon the Legal Department for an explanation, but I have heard naught.
I apologize for the lack of Audiogrammatic traffic, Dean. However, there is little to fear, Lord Dean, I am still alive! I have been busy collecting up and destroying my archives of books, notes and newspaper clippings, which I was compelling to prepare a book chronicling the progressive decline. I may have envisioned myself as a latter day Livy or Tacitus but now I suppose I must accept the Society`s iron judgment that I have a poor sense of history.
As I sought to drown my sorrows with my philosophical investigations into ardent spirits a comparison of Scotch whiskies with Irish whiskeys and Irish beers with Continental brews, I was immediately frustrated by the refusal of the bartender to serve me Michael Collins Whiskey. I was summarily refused service of a shot of Michael Collins whiskey, on the grounds that it commemorates the fight they call in their gibberish Cogadh na Saoirse and not the celebration of Saint Patrick`s Day. St Patrick`s Day is a joyous holiday. Such unpleasantness as the Dean or Lord Baron may revel in is inappropriate.
I was told that Jamesons was the appropriate libation of the moment. I informed the barkeep that Jamesons is an inferior whiskey to the Protestant Bushmills whisky. I find Jameson too smooth and sweet.
A liquor described as smooth is one for me to avoid. Jameson, Jack Daniels, and the Canadian whiskies are most often described that way. I take smooth to be insipid. A lot can be downed without a taste. Or that it will not interfere with sweet fruity flavours mixed in. As an example, The Tenessee whiskey Jack Daniels is actually put through a charcoal filter to remove taste. One would be hard pressed to find a "smooth" Scotch, although I suppose one of the lowland blends might qualify. For that reason, I prefer the bite of Bushmills.
I enquired whether the barman thought that Bushmills would be appropriate for the day. I was concerned over the reaction. Did not our own Lord Baron and President deem it better to drink water than bushmills? Was not the Lady Dean surcharged in The Irish Times Pub for such a statement? I was pleasantly surprised with the more pleasant response. "Indeed," said the barkeep, as he tapped the bottle, "solely on the grounds that Saint Patrick is for all of Ireland, not just a part of it."
On the subject of beers on which I am regarded by many of the seamen as a connoisseur, the Irish beer Guiness, particularly the Foreign Extra Stout, can stand up favourably against the dark German brew or any beer in the world! On the other hand, Harp in my opinion, is nothing but watery slop comparable to many thin beers, like that hideous US beer Cours.
I did observe that the old bar keep was not wearing any orange. but I was surpised to learn that Green white and Orange ties have become a quite popular attraction on St Pat`s Day at least in the US.
Sadly I must report that McCarthy`s has become a Mexican bar although still with green lightshades. Despite the pleasantries, soon after conducting my philosophical investigations assigned to me by The Society I left Mccarthy`s in a sour frame of mind. Upon what more is there to elaborate? Her Majesty`s Golden Jubilee, perhaps?
Cherio Dean, Cherio
For The Society,
Dr James Davies Lord Woodburry
Dr Charles Fredrickson:
What I`m not
Probably never was
Never will be
Is that everything
No Holds Bard
Stop being a passive dider;
Start becoming an active doer.
Whatever happens happens for predestined
Reasons known only to Leprechauns.
Reinvigorate once was by recycling
Secondhand chances quite possibly thirds.
* * *
Fast-forward bent time warp can`t
Keep up marching in place.
* * * *
Counterclockwise about face reverses preset
Digital minds cess gone berserk.
* * * * *
Sold-out peace drastically reduced clearance
Spidery flytrap cobwebs swept away
No Holds Bard
No Holds Bard