FP

New Years Day 2010

Rockaway Park NY In the 38th Year of the Society Since 1971 "Betwixt and Between"
QUESTION TWO con't: Mr Malik Hassan


Mr Burch responds:

Mr. Hasan`s actions will cause Americans to ask, eventually, whose is the greater insanity: Hasan`s, or our government`s. Of course the stock answer is that American jingoists are rational in a good way, while Islamic extremists are irrational in a bad way. But why did Hasan go haywire? He didn`t believe Americans should be going to Muslim nations to kill Muslims on their native soil. He had worked with American soldiers returning from Afghanistan and Iraq, and when he was faced with the same existential dilemmas they had faced, his mind snapped. Obviously, Hasan`s mind might not have snapped if his government hadn`t put him in a position where he might have to kill innocent Muslim women and children. Therefore, the greater insanity is his government`s and his President`s, since Hasan didn`t want to kill Muslims, while Barack "Insane" Obama is intent on sending even larger numbers of American troops to Afghanistan. Undoubtedly, some of their minds will snap also, and they will kill innocent Muslims in the same way that Hasan killed innocent Americans. But of course that will be fine and dandy, as long as innocent Muslims die there, rather than innocent Americans dying here. Eventually Muslims will retaliate with another event like 9-11, and we can all experience the joys of shellshock together. – Michael R. Burch

Terrorist or Terrified?

The Fort Hood massacre is a national tragedy. What will no doubt get short shrift is the highly inconvenient question: did Nidal Hasan alone lose his mind, or has the US flipped its national lid? Hasan saw the toll two wars were taking on the soldiers he counseled, and he obviously believed it was wrong for Americans to kill Muslims on their native soil. Was he entirely wrong in his beliefs? Of course murder cannot be justified or condoned, but I can understand why Hasan’s mind might have snapped. Personally, I would have fled to Canada and lived not to fight another day.

QUESTION THREE: Gitmo Trials


President Barak Hussein Obama proposes to release some of the Guantanamo prisoners for trial in the Federal civilian Courts in New York City. Do you suppose this is a good idea?

Yes, this is a very good idea, since Guantanamo prison cells should be reserved for the "hard cases" – the masterminds of deception and war. Obama obviously needs to free up cells for himself, George W. Bush, Dick Cheney and Don Rumsfeld. Not to be sexually discriminatory, cells will also be needed for Condoleezza Rice and Madeline Albright (who once said the deaths of 500,000 Iraqi children by starvation due to US economic sanctions against Iraq before the war were "acceptable"). Why should a few disaffected know-nothing Afghani goatherds be waterboarded, when we can waterboard Cheney and Rumsfeld, and quickly get to the bottom of things? Obama is probably too smart to suffer unnecessarily, and will in all likelihood divulge all he knows immediately. So finally Americans can learn the truth: that 9-11 happened because the US government funded and supported the NAKBA (the Holocaust of the Palestinians), to the tune of hundreds of billions of dollars, and because it kept trying to ensure "lower prices for oil" by interfering in the affairs of Arab nations (while of course driving the price of oil sky-high). Once these simple truths have been revealed, the perpetrators can be executed for crimes against humanity, and world peace will become possible, since all Americans really need to do is stand for equal rights for all human beings (not hypocritically for "more equal" rights for Americans and Jews), and pay the going price for oil (which will quickly go down again, once peace through justice has been established). Then someone can give the late President Barack "Insane" Obama`s Nobel Peace Prize to the person who really deserves it: me! – Michael R. Burch


Michael Burch:

Snap Shots: Military "Intelligence"

We like to hook a little tail.
We hope there`s decent ass in jail.
Don`t fool with us; our bombs are smart!
(We`ll send the plans, ASAP, e-mail.)

Snap Shots: Jihadists

Our daughters must be celibate,
die virgins. We triangulate
their early paths to heaven (for
the martyrs they`ll soon conjugate).
Michael Burch:
Chuckles

Biblical Knowledge or "Knowing Coming and Going"

The wisest man the world has ever seen—
had fourscore concubines and threescore queens?
This gives us pause, and so we venture hence—
he "knew" them, wisely, in the other sense.

Fahr an` Ice

From what I know of death, I`ll side with those
who`d like to have a say in how it goes:
just make mine cool, cool rocks (twice drowned in likker),
and real fahr off, instead of quicker.

Eerie Dearie

A trembling young auditor, white
as a sheet, like a ghost in the night,
saw his dreams, his career
in a poof!, disappear,
and then, strangely Enronic, his wife.


Snap Shots: The Obvious Superiority of Catholicism
The soul is all that matters; why
hoard gold if it offends the eye?
A pension plan? Don`t make us laugh!
We have your plan for sainthood. (Die.)

Piercing the Shell

If we strip away all the accouterments of war,
perhaps we`ll discover what the heart is for.
Biblical Knowledge or "Knowing Coming and Going"
The wisest man the world has ever seen—
had fourscore concubines and threescore queens?
This gives us pause, and so we venture hence—
he "knew" them, wisely, in the other sense.
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